BREAKING NEWS: FoamE has gone missing. After enduring one of the coldest—and longest—winters in history, FoamE up and left the wall cavities he has been inhabiting while insulating more than 40,000 homes from Omaha to our nation‘s capital. FoamE is employee and mascot of USA Insulation, makers of USA Premium Foam Insulation, an injection foam product with a remarkable resemblance to FoamE himself.
There have been numerous FoamE sitings reported but none verified. According to an elderly woman in Roswell, New Mexico, “There was this bright white light that shot across the sky and then this saucer-shaped object landed behind Mel‘s Market on Main Street. This little foam-like creature came out and asked to speak to my leader. I assume he meant my husband, but by the time I got Cyril out of bed, the creature had up and gone back to his galaxy.”
A hiker in Washington State spotted a strange silhouette darting through the thick forest. Thinking it might be FoamE, he gave chase, but when he discovered it was only Sasquatch, he lost interest and went about his hike.
A boater in Amity, Long Island, spotted what he claimed was a “Great White FoamE”. Shortly after the siting, he was arrested for BUI (Boating Under Intoxication) and the local Polar Bear Club returned gleefully to the chilly waters.
One anonymous source even claimed that the Pink Panther ate him.
One thing is for certain. Without FoamE, America is underinsulated and at risk for homes that are too hot in summer, too cold in winter, and have really, really high energy bills! Anyone spotting FoamE should immediately report his whereabouts to the local barber shop.
WARNING…DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CAPTURE FOAME!!! He is armed (but not legged) and amorphous. Plus, you‘ll have a heck of a time finding him because he gets into cracks and crevices that other insulations can‘t reach. Yes—he‘s THAT good!
Unfortunately, April 1st may always be remembered as the day FoamE went missing—oh yeah, and as April Fool‘s Day, too!